Raising Confident Girls

I almost named this post "Raising Princesses in Hiking Boots."

There was a woman who was very special to me. Her name was Mary, and she was my husband's aunt. (Now: this whole entire family is exceptional and remarkable, but that's a whole different blog post.) I only knew Mary for seven years, only met her in person a handful of times, before she passed away. She made an impact on me by living her truest, most unapologetic life, and by giving me words of strength that I still remember. I could gush for several more paragraphs, but I'm going to get to the point.

Our entire family (descendants of, and including my grandparents-in-law) met up in the North Woods of the mid-west when my girls were 4 years old and 8 months old. At some point during the family reunion, Mary must have pulled my older daughter aside and gave her this book: Do Princesses Wear Hiking Boots? by Carmela LaVigna Coyle. I asked my daughter where the book came from a few days later, and she said "Great Mary" gave it to her and read it to her. My daughter doesn't know all of what I know: That Mary was a fashionista, amazing cook and homemaker, and designer, but was also ready to get her shoes dirty on an adventure. The fact that she passed on the message to be who you are, and do what you love, in such a short time with my daughter means so much to me. Both girls ask me to read the book often and remind me it's from "Great Mary, who is in heaven with our dog, Brutus."

I love this book, because it is a metaphor for how we parent our girls. We never pushed pink and princesses on our girls, intentionally providing gender neutral toys and experiences for them*. But, hey, they still figured out who all the Disney princesses are, and LOVE pink and fairies and spinney dresses and tea parties (BUT NOT TEA, JUST PRETEND TEA). You know what? They know what they love and they are confident in that. They also love trains and Legos and laser guns and robots. They shouldn't be made to feel bad about what they love, unless it's hurting someone else. So, while there might be parents who judge because my girls are sometimes dressed head to toe in pink and have bows in their hair, or that they picked their own outfit and none of it matches and their has three ponytails (ugh, do they insist on THREE?!?), I don't care**. I am proud to raise confident girls who are living out childhood to it's fullest. I know Mary is proud as she looks down at them.

*I did let E watch a certain Disney movie about two sister princesses about a million times while I was stuck in the bathroom with morning sickness while being pregnant with C, so - think what you want about that.
**I really try not to care - I catch myself sometimes, and then try to set myself straight.

I have come across several books that support confidence in girls. These books do not contain passive or weak females. We read them all the time. I hope this list will help out another parent who is trying to find ways to support their confident daughters. (Credit needs to go where it's due - so many of these were given to us by members of our amazing family I talked about earlier in this post.)

North Woods Girl by Aimee Bissonette

The Legend of the Lady's Slipper by Kathy-jo Wargin

Little Feminist Board Book Set

Good Night Stories Rebel Girls by Elena Favilli

Galaxy Girls: 50 Amazing Stories of Women in Space by Libby Jackson

Dear Girl by Amy Krouse Rosenthal

Stand Tall, Molly Lou Melon by Patty Lovell

Madeline Books by Ludwig Bemelmans

The Adventures Pippi Longstocking by Astrid Lindgren

The Snatchabook by Helen Docherty

These examples have strong female examples, but obviously the possibilities are endless. Think about your daughter's insterests and help her find fiction or non-fiction books that support those (with male or female characters). If they do choose a book to read with a weak female character, talk about it. What would she do if she was the main character? What would you do?

What are your favorite books to read to your daughters to instill confidence?

New Year, New Blog, and STEAM toys!

New Year, New Blog!

Over the last few years, I have been struggling with making this blog functional. It has been something I've been dreaming up for a long time. My mind constantly thinks of things that might make great blog posts. I know there are other parents and teachers interested in navigating this crazy balance between work and family. I have come to realize that teachers who are also parents strive to be the best in all areas of life. We don't do either job for pay (clearly), we just have a passion for raising the best human beings we can.

My blog was originally part of a graduate school project to share my ideas for music education. Now, I am adjusting the purpose to also contain parenting, cooking, life balance, and school-wide leadership. If you are only here for the music teacher stuff - no worries! I'll continue to post what works in my classroom and share resources for free.

NOW: while I sit here, sipping my coffee and nibbling my banana muffin (recipe: https://www.artandthekitchen.com/best-banana-muffins/ ), my two little girls are playing with a grow-your-own fairy garden they got for Christmas. This is the inspiration (a.k.a. kick in the butt) I needed to write a blog post I have been thinking about for a while: my favorite STEAM toys and gifts for kids under 8.

Best STEAM Gifts for Kids Under 8!

My family asks for a list when it comes to birthday or Christmas gifts for my girls. This year, my husband and I did a lot of research to come up with the toys we thought would last, spark creativity, and teach problem solving. Here are some of the best ideas I came across:

1. Museum and Zoo memberships

I love this idea - these memberships are the gift of quality time with your kids. Now, make sure if you ask for these or if you purchase these yourself, you actually GO (I'm guilty...). One of my new year resolutions is to take my kids to our Children's museum and zoo at least 4 times each this year. The kids love having a day to explore, and these venues offer new exhibits each time we go. Not to mention, I usually have quiet and tired kids when we get home. I could write a whole blog about this, but, make sure these adventures are kid-led as much as possible. Ask them what THEY are interested in learning about. Don't rush through exhibits they are interested in. Soak in the quality time - if you have a membership you don't have to worry if you don't see it all that day.

2. Robots and Coding Toys

When our girls were littler, we found the Code-a-pillar toy (https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Think-Learn-Code-Pillar/dp/B01M22IDS4/ref=sr_1_1?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1546710359&sr=1-1&keywords=coderpiller ). It was a hit. The best part about this toy, is it can differentiate with their age. The toy is a visual way to understand the coding process, and as kids get older, they can enjoy different challenges to problem solve. As I write this, I am noting to replace the batteries, because my girls would love to play with it this afternoon. We also like the Mouse coding game: https://www.amazon.com/Learning-Resources-Robot-Activity-Pieces/dp/B01A5YMCH4. This also offers a few differentiated ways to teach coding, each one geared toward different skill sets and abilities. We have a Snap Circuit Jr. set (https://www.amazon.com/Snap-Circuits-SC-100-Electronics-Exploration/dp/B00008BFZH/ref=sr_1_4_acs_ac_1?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1546710745&sr=1-4-acs&keywords=snap+circuits), also, for good measure. Lastly, we recently got a robot for our oldest (6yo) that can be controlled with a joystick style app, but can also be coded. The Sphero Mini is perfect for her age and has already helped her understanding of robots - https://www.amazon.com/Sphero-Mini-Blue-App-Controlled-Robot/dp/B072B6QVVW/ref=sr_1_4?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1546711037&sr=1-4&keywords=sphero+mini.

3. Fairy Garden

My husband and I are all about the gender-neutral primary colored toys, and even still, our girls just LOVE all things pink and fairies. That's just who they are, and I'm cool with that. These fairy gardens combine their love for girly fairy stuff and learning about photosynthesis and caring for plants. I love that it comes with a guide for parents to read to their kids about how plants get their nutrients. The girls are excited to see the plants grow and play with the little house accessories. There are several types of fairy gardens. This is the kind we have so far: https://www.amazon.com/My-Fairy-Garden-Magical-Cottage/dp/B01FSV2YYU/ref=pd_lpo_vtph_86_bs_t_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=VBGY4VWSBFGR83EHWXMR.

4. Crates and Subscriptions

My kids are crazy about getting surprises in the mail. They are lucky enough to have been gifted several subscriptions over the last couple years, so I'll tell you about our favorites. Kiwi Crate is a company that has several options, tailored to age and interest. Every month, the girls would recieve a little box in the mail with three themed activities. We have gotten the Koala Crate and the Kiwi crate and both are excellent. The girls love the high quality supplies and the independence they feel as they do the activities. You can check out all of Kiwi Crate options here: https://www.kiwico.com/?utm_source=Google-g&utm_medium=SEM&utm_content=48255882464&utm_campaign=796884942&utm_term=kiwi%20crate&utm_ad=1t1&utm_adset=e&utm_placement=&gclid=CjwKCAiAyMHhBRBIEiwAkGN6fA0ytM547apt9gpMYrru90T-zY1qdpwKfZ5uLgNOb4295vsotNJetRoC374QAvD_BwE. 

Along the same lines is the Girls Can! Crate: https://www.girlscancrate.com/. This box is similar to Kiwi crate - our six-year-old gets a box each month with a theme. The twist is the box highlights influential women in history (scientists, artists, engineers) that support the theme of the box. There are still three activities and high quality supplies, along with extension activities to support those deep-divers. 

My girls love to "help" me cook. Not gonna lie - sometimes it drives me nuts. BUT, I have to remember that there are plenty of skills they are old enough to learn, and I should put aside some time to devote to cooking with them. One of the best crates we have received is the Raddish Crate: https://www.raddishkids.com/. It's another monthly subscription box, but it comes with cooking tools, kid-friendly recipes, and activities following some kind of culinary theme. The tools are high quality, and the recipe fold-out cards are durable and can be wiped clean. 

Amazon has come out with a book subscription for kids, and we are super excited. We have gotten one shipment for each of the girls, and so far I am wowed. These are books we may not necessarily pick out at the library or book store, but they are right on target. My girls love them, so far. We are of the mindset: you can't have too many books. Check this out! https://www.amazon.com/Prime-Book-Box-Reading-Baby-2/dp/B072BYFR7R

5. Building Block Sets

Legos are a big deal at our house. Our kids are just at the ages that can use the really little "big kid" legos, but are still very into the duplo size legos. We have received several kinds of lego kits that just add to our lego bucket of imagination. I really think these are a must-have toy at any kid's house. Kids have license to build their own world with these kind of toys. Along the same lines are Magnet Tiles, Tegu magnet blocks, and these wooden castle blocks (the girls' favorite toy right now): https://www.amazon.com/Building-FAO-Toddlers-Medieval-Princesses/dp/B0786XP6N2/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?ie=UTF8&qid=1546718717&sr=8-1-spons&keywords=castle+blocks&psc=1. These are the types of toys I love just sitting back and watching my kids play with. They don't need my help or supervision and I might be able to get a few hours of peace and quiet (you KNOW you need that sometimes).

6. Train Sets

This toy is another staple - I think all kids love these sets. I appreciate how so many different companies make these sets compatible with each other, so families can build their collections. I like the Thomas sets, Melissa and Doug, and Brio, but now there are so many that work! I noticed some really affordable sets on Amazon that include fun pieces like bridges, turn tables, and tunnels. Just check to make sure of the compatibility. 

7. Make-It-Yourself Kits

There are so many options! The two I have my eye on for my girls are a wood working kit and a first sewing kit: https://www.amazon.com/Lakeshore-Learning-Materials-Build-It-Yourself-Woodworking/dp/B009IYD7PO and https://www.amazon.com/Four-Seasons-Crafting-Sewing-Animal/dp/B01N1MEYBO/ref=sr_1_12?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1546735175&sr=1-12&keywords=first+sewing+kit. There are really great ones at Lowe's and Michael's (as well as other hardware and craft stores). I love that these foster independence and build skills they can use in future projects. These are just challenging enough to introduce new skills without being overwhelming. My older daughter had a mermaid she sewed all by herself. It was pretty good, but definitely missing an eye. She was still so proud of herself, she brought it to school to show all of her teachers and friends.

8. GoldieBlox sets

These are so cool! They are definitely geared toward girls, but in a positive kind of way. The sets include a story that teaches an engineering principal and mechanism. The story walks kids through how to set up and build their own machine: https://www.amazon.com/stores/node/6710091011?_encoding=UTF8&field-lbr_brands_browse-bin=GoldieBlox&ref_=bl_dp_s_web_6710091011. Our daughter got the spinning machine (link here: https://www.amazon.com/GoldieBlox-and-The-Spinning-Machine/dp/1223095649?ref_=bl_dp_s_web_6710091011) for her birthday from her grandparents a few years ago. She still loves to get it out and set it up along with the story. She might spend another hour trying to make her own machine design. Watch for sales - sometimes you can get an amazing deal!