Raising Confident Girls

I almost named this post "Raising Princesses in Hiking Boots."

There was a woman who was very special to me. Her name was Mary, and she was my husband's aunt. (Now: this whole entire family is exceptional and remarkable, but that's a whole different blog post.) I only knew Mary for seven years, only met her in person a handful of times, before she passed away. She made an impact on me by living her truest, most unapologetic life, and by giving me words of strength that I still remember. I could gush for several more paragraphs, but I'm going to get to the point.

Our entire family (descendants of, and including my grandparents-in-law) met up in the North Woods of the mid-west when my girls were 4 years old and 8 months old. At some point during the family reunion, Mary must have pulled my older daughter aside and gave her this book: Do Princesses Wear Hiking Boots? by Carmela LaVigna Coyle. I asked my daughter where the book came from a few days later, and she said "Great Mary" gave it to her and read it to her. My daughter doesn't know all of what I know: That Mary was a fashionista, amazing cook and homemaker, and designer, but was also ready to get her shoes dirty on an adventure. The fact that she passed on the message to be who you are, and do what you love, in such a short time with my daughter means so much to me. Both girls ask me to read the book often and remind me it's from "Great Mary, who is in heaven with our dog, Brutus."

I love this book, because it is a metaphor for how we parent our girls. We never pushed pink and princesses on our girls, intentionally providing gender neutral toys and experiences for them*. But, hey, they still figured out who all the Disney princesses are, and LOVE pink and fairies and spinney dresses and tea parties (BUT NOT TEA, JUST PRETEND TEA). You know what? They know what they love and they are confident in that. They also love trains and Legos and laser guns and robots. They shouldn't be made to feel bad about what they love, unless it's hurting someone else. So, while there might be parents who judge because my girls are sometimes dressed head to toe in pink and have bows in their hair, or that they picked their own outfit and none of it matches and their has three ponytails (ugh, do they insist on THREE?!?), I don't care**. I am proud to raise confident girls who are living out childhood to it's fullest. I know Mary is proud as she looks down at them.

*I did let E watch a certain Disney movie about two sister princesses about a million times while I was stuck in the bathroom with morning sickness while being pregnant with C, so - think what you want about that.
**I really try not to care - I catch myself sometimes, and then try to set myself straight.

I have come across several books that support confidence in girls. These books do not contain passive or weak females. We read them all the time. I hope this list will help out another parent who is trying to find ways to support their confident daughters. (Credit needs to go where it's due - so many of these were given to us by members of our amazing family I talked about earlier in this post.)

North Woods Girl by Aimee Bissonette

The Legend of the Lady's Slipper by Kathy-jo Wargin

Little Feminist Board Book Set

Good Night Stories Rebel Girls by Elena Favilli

Galaxy Girls: 50 Amazing Stories of Women in Space by Libby Jackson

Dear Girl by Amy Krouse Rosenthal

Stand Tall, Molly Lou Melon by Patty Lovell

Madeline Books by Ludwig Bemelmans

The Adventures Pippi Longstocking by Astrid Lindgren

The Snatchabook by Helen Docherty

These examples have strong female examples, but obviously the possibilities are endless. Think about your daughter's insterests and help her find fiction or non-fiction books that support those (with male or female characters). If they do choose a book to read with a weak female character, talk about it. What would she do if she was the main character? What would you do?

What are your favorite books to read to your daughters to instill confidence?